today is the day

indeed it is.

it's been such a difficult week leading up to this point. my grandfather passed away on sunday. it was an awful experience watching his rapid demise during the last few days, although it's somewhat comfortable to know that he was comfortable and his family were always by his side.

it's now less than an hour until my admission time, my bag isn't packed, i haven't had a shower yet and i'm blaming my procrastination on my hesitation for what's in store today.

i will post again after it's all over...until then.


old dog, new tricks

so as they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. i'm hoping they are wrong.

i know it's been a while between this blog and my last, so just briefly to update you of how 2010 finishing up: i got married last april in the registry, and finally got around to planning the 'proper' wedding in november.

it was fabulous.

i'm still working 3 days a week managing a store, and waiting for uni to start again, when i will resume my full time study of psychology.

on my last update i mentioned i was going to embark on a brand new health quest. well that didn't exactly work out as i'd planned, and neither did anything else i tried during last year. so i've made the decision to do something a little more drastic about it. a little more permanent.

in just over a week i'll be in hospital having my vsg - vertical sleeve gastrectomy - completed. it's a weight loss operation, similar to lap band, however with this they remove 2/3rd's of your stomach, including an area that secrets a hormone responsible for hunger. unlike lap band which is removable, this is permanent. and i am seriously shit scared.

i don't think it's the surgery itself that's scaring me. it's the entire lifestyle change. i'm not one of these fat people who eats buckets of kfc, or ice cream with m&m's and chocolate fudge. i'm someone who really does love food. good food. and perhaps just a little too much of it. i like nothing more than to go out to lunch or dinner at somewhere fabulous. and while i know that's still possible after my surgery, it wont be the same.

i've been googling 'second thoughts' or 'regrets' in relation to the surgery and there have been few, if not any. some posts mention the first couple of weeks being difficult, which i expect. but when i read about the massive amounts of change - weight wise, confidence wise, comfort wise - i can't help but want that for me too.

anyhow i will definitely try to keep this updated a little more. i will also add up a recent photo and weight soon before the operation.

until next time...